Thursday, April 25, 2013

There is No Bandaid

Sometimes Mommy can't make it all better.

Not like the days when my little girl scraped a knee and
Came to me, breath shuddering, face wet,
Wanting only to be held against the breast
She'd suckled from two years before.

Those days I'd scoop her up and rock her
Until she'd calm and let me clean the wound,
Apply a bandaid topped off with a
Whisper and a kiss.

Twenty years later it's not the knee that has been scraped,
But thoughts intruding over and over,
Attacking her shell of self-esteem,
Cracking the enamel of her soul.

What if I fail? What if I'm not ready?
What if no one understands me? What if I can't handle it?

I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough.

These are not normal fears and doubts,
They are the more obsessive kind
That haunt her nights, besiege her mind.

I take her in my arms and wait
For breath to calm and tongue to still,
A signal she is safe again and able to
Control her will...for now.

I can whisper,
I can kiss,

But there is no bandaid for this.


  1. Yes, exactly. Thank you for sharing your words.

  2. Beautiful poem, Tanya. Well expressed.

  3. Beautiful... Thank you so much for sharing!

  4. Loved it! Thanks for sharing and know you're not alone.

  5. Lovely poem. I pray that things will go well with your daughter.

  6. Very nice poem ... so sorry for your daughter's anguish on top of medical issues ... prayers and hugs

  7. I didn't realize you were a poet too! It makes me wish life was only filled with bandaid sort of problems. I hope you and your daughter are both doing well soon!

  8. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
    You put into words much more elegantly than I can.

  9. Completely lovely, Tanya. My heart goes out to you, and to her, and hope you are able to find solutions that help.