I’ve been so scatterbrained lately that it makes it hard to read anything or write. It’s even harder to plot my outline for NaNoWriMo. I have six different projects I want to work on and about six first chapters that don’t have plots to go with them. All I want to do is write, but I can’t do that do that without direction.
I go through periods of mental disarray. But it’s even more frustrating because I want to be productive.
I also want to focus and read my scriptures, but that has become increasingly difficult. I can’t set mind to one task, develop a habit, and follow through.
As I sat in church this past Sunday, I pondered my dilemma. The topic in church was the Book of Mormon, and once again, I was frustrated over my scriptural study habits. But as the first speaker dove into her talk, a feeling washed over me, confirming that, no matter how often I do or don’t have an opportunity to read the Book of Mormon, I still know it’s true. I still have a strong testimony of the words, even though my memory might be lazy and I don’t always remember the chapters and verses I read. But I know the words testify of Christ and of his visits to America.
My thoughts brought to mind something I saw on a T.V. series. I am paraphrasing the actor’s words, but she said to another character, “I feel sorry for you because you can’t believe in something you can’t see.” That’s exactly how I feel. I can’t begin to understand those who don’t believe in God. I cringe when God and Jesus Christ are called myths. I feel sorry for those who cannot believe in something they can’t see. Do these people believe they have spirits? Do they believe there is a purpose to life? What do they believe about when they die? I’m sure they all believe something different, and that’s fine, but at least I know who I am, where I came from, and where I am going after die. I know this because the Holy Spirit speaks to my spirit and confirms a witness of the truth. This is something that can’t be seen, but is felt.
So back to my scattered brain. Even though I have a hard time lining up my priorities in life, and keeping my mind clear, I know and have a core base of truth to hold me steady.
My encouraging words? Hold on to what you do know, and life’s purpose and direction will eventually be clear. That’s the hope.
by Lisa Rector