Thursday, December 8, 2011

Never let them see you rant. . .

Did you miss me? 
Oh.  Didn’t notice I was gone huh.  Well I forgive you, Thanksgiving was hard on me.  Trying to exceed my own expectations for a perfect holiday and all that crap.  Was anyone else as annoyed as I was by all the thankfulness filling up the facebook walls?  I mean there’s only so much “I’m so grateful for my husband” one person can take.  I was feeling a bit bah humbug about the whole thing until I began compiling my own list.  It went a little something like this.

I'm grateful for Bowel Movements.  I am grateful for laxatives.  I am grateful all of my children can usually make it to the potty before they need to “go.”
I'm most grateful for disposable diapers.  And baby wipes.  And Clorox disinfectant  wipes.  
I'm grateful for Diet Coke and Tylenol.  My breakfast of champions.
I'm grateful for Netflix streaming, especially when my daughter wakes at 2am and WON’T GO BACK TO SLEEP.  
I'm grateful I can sleep through Yo Gabba Gabba.
I'm grateful my husband has class until really late Thursday nights.  Because sometimes (sometimes) I really enjoy having the house to myself after the kids have gone to bed.
I'm grateful my husband is a gearhead.  I don’t care about tripping over the alternator in the yard.  Or the brake parts on top of my washer.  The V-8 engine my husband insisted on buying, will allow me to cut in front of that stupid hybrid Prius driving 50 on the freeway (no offense Prius drivers).
I'm grateful for a giant, fast, intimidating cars.  Even if it does feel like a bus every once in a while.
I'm grateful for grumpy friends.  And sarcastic ones.  And snide comments made under their breath. I am grateful for how real they are with me.
I'm grateful for bad weather.  For the excuse to leave my kids in jammies all day and watch tv and eat cookies for breakfast.  
Most of all I am grateful to you, blog reader.  I am grateful you are still reading this little rant because I would have stopped after the word poop.
You are still reading, aren’t you?  I had to let this list out.  All this snark inside me was just aching to go on facebook.  I don’t know how many times I’ve logged on to see someone gush about how wonderful their husband is, or how grateful they are for a job, blah, blah, blah.   All the while I feel like I’m trying to (barely) hold on to some semblance of this holiday season spirit.
And yes, nothing like a little snark to make the holiday season that much more. . .genuine.
What are you truly grateful for this month?  Let it out here. . .I promise not to tell.


  1. Haha! Loving this. I'm grateful for being able to sleep with my eyes open. Or I would never get any sleep at all.