Monday, December 21, 2015


Over a month ago I noticed something seemed to be amiss with my right breast.

11 years previously I'd had a lacto adenoma removed from my right breast while pregnant with my daughter. If you're not pregnant or nursing they call it a fibro adenoma. I was told that I might be susceptible to forming them and to keep a watch out. 

So, when I suspected something was up, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. As I expected, she ordered imaging to determine what was going on. There were really on three possibilities: adenoma/cyst, treatable cancer, or terminal cancer. 

I scheduled and waited three weeks for my date. 

I prayed. 

Not so much for it not to be cancer, though I certainly hoped it was not my time to leave this earth. My children are still young and I have much to teach them, and many moments in their lives I want to witness. Mostly, I prayed for peace while I waited and for the possibilities to not crowd my mind and keep me from experiencing the daily ups and downs of my life. I didn't want to be consumed with 'what ifs'. I also prayed for peace no matter what the test results turned out to be. 

God was kind. I was granted peace. 

Now, statistically speaking it was unlikely to be cancer. I carry few of the factors that put me on the high risk list. But it was possible. The three years I lived in Kansas I knew at least half a dozen women that were either going through breast cancer or were survivors. I've never known that many at one time, anywhere I've lived. And one side of my family tree is prone to cancer. Still, someone has to fall in that 15-20% of women who develop breast cancer. 

The day came, I went for my first mammogram. And as it was a diagnostic one, they wanted to use the 3D machine. Except, it wasn't working. They told me I could wait, or reschedule. I opted to wait. I happened to have the room closest to the 3D imaging room and could hear the technician on the phone trying to get the situation sorted. She mentioned more than one woman needed this technology to work. As the door to my room shut, I prayed again. This time that the machine would work, not just on my behalf, but on the behalf of the other women who needed answers like I did. 

The machine worked! And I said another prayer of gratitude. 

Mammograms weren't nearly as uncomfortable as I imagined they would be. Images, wait, more images, wait, onto the ultrasound. Two and a half hours later I sat in the nurse navigator's office. The issue turned out to be on the left side, not the right as I'd suspected. It looked to be a cyst. The recommendation was to do an ultrasound aspirated cyst removal. I scheduled it and two days later went in for the procedure. 

This part was more nerve-racking than waiting the previous three weeks. When I had the adenoma out before, I was over 7 months pregnant. They couldn't put me out to sleep but the blessed anesthesiologist made me feel really good. This time it was local anesthesia, not nearly as awesome. As soon as the doctor got in there, it was determined to be solid not liquid. Biopsy. And I got chipped. Now they insert a metal chip to mark the spot where they've removed the tissue. It is the size of a sesame seed. And no it doesn't set off metal detectors at the airport. It's there to show on further imaging. 

Results 3-4 days. More waiting. Turned out to be a very small fibro adenoma. In fact, so small that the biopsy removed half of it. Peace of mind. 

Trials, unexpected turns in our lives, can make us panic, frantic, crazy with worry. But when we turn to the Lord and ask for peace, he will grant it. It doesn't mean the trial is taken away or quickly or easily resolved every time. But while we wait on the Lord's timing, he can grant us peace. 

I am grateful for this gift. 

When have you been granted peace in a time of trial? Did you remember to be grateful for that blessing? 

May peace be granted to you. 

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