by H. Linn Murphy
I had a beautiful poem all ready to post for today and somehow I lost it on the computer. I tried and tried to get it back via several ways. It simply went bye-bye. All that long hard work down the flusher. I'm sure there was a reason for it. I think this situation is like many in my life.
I don't always understand why some things happen the way they do at the time they are happening. But later, often the meaning comes clearly to view.
I had a son who was ready to turn in his mission papers. He'd been working hard and pretty much had all he needed. He seemed jazzed about going out to serve the Lord. He was, at the time, very immature, though.
On graduation day I had two graduating. My oldest son was riding next to me in the car on the way to one graduation. I looked down at his arm and it was bright purple. "Ack, move it around!" I told him. He did and nothing happened. I ended up sending him to the hospital with his dad while I went to his brother's graduation, expecting all the time that they'd come sit in the seats I saved.
It turned out my son didn't leave the hospital for two days because he had a blood clot in his shoulder. He wasn't able to even think of a mission for almost a year, until he got off the anticoagulation medicine. At the time we couldn't think of any reason why he should have gotten a clot at his age. We had a rough time understanding why the Lord didn't just heal him and send him out into missionary service. We kept having road block after road block.
Finally the ordeal was over and the boy finished preparing to go out. He was a week away from his farewell talk when he told his dad he wasn't going. Again we questioned why. I'm still wondering what happened. I don't understand his choices. I don't understand the Lord's reasoning in this. Maybe if the boy had gone out, he might have encountered situations so difficult for him to navigate that he might have left the church. Maybe there was some other reason why he wasn't to go to that mission at that time. We're still clueless.
There is still time for him to go, even though he spent most of his mission money on a car and an apartment of his own. Maybe if he makes it his decision, he'll surprise us and go. And maybe not. It's his journey.
My job is to have faith in Heavenly Father's methods, whether I can see a reason for them or not. He's the one with the 360 degree perspective. I am the sheep who will come at his call, not stand bleating in a bush because I chose to stray. He calls and I go.