by Lisa Rector
As I looked around my house, at the remnant of our family’s cookie-frosting activity, as I switched laundry from the washer to the dryer and then loaded the dishwasher and wiped down the kitchen counter and took the trash out, my purpose in life spoke to me. I didn’t think that such mundane tasks would have such meaning, but I’ve been blessed lately and my heart was full as I cleaned up, so it was open to the Spirit.
For a long time I’ve struggled with being a mother and embracing it. Even before my daughter smashed screaming from my womb, breaking my tailbone in the process. I resented motherhood for what it did to me. I became a prisoner to my hormones, fighting a depression so dark, only those who’ve been there could understand.
I celebrated my freedom from depression once again, on its five-year anniversary, August 4th. All day my heart sang praises for all my blessings, while still wondering about my purpose. Even after studying and learning that true greatness is in all the small things we do every day to serve others, I still didn’t feel what that meant.
But as I tackled my chores, with the Piano Guys playing at top volume, soaking up the beauty of what it means to be in the moment, even while wiping down floors, the Spirit whispered to me.
Men are, that they might have joy.
Heavenly Father wants us to experience joy in life and share it with others. He wants me to raise my children to grow up and feel joy and see beauty. Because of this, God made the earth for us.
I even shared in the spirit of two woman not of my faith, who came to my door. I didn’t turn them away, but I invited them to sit on the chairs outside, and I listened to their message. They were happy people, feeling the joy of this life.
God gave me my ears to hear, my eyes to see, and my soul to feel. He gave me my life. And I can find joy in each day, even when my body is lacking energy. But His strength buoys me up and helps me feel joy in the suffering too.
I began a new book this summer, a novella. I had great plans for working on my Lost Emrys trilogy, but it wasn’t coming to me. My brain kept whispering scenes to me about this other novel I planned to start next year. The storyline is about a woman who loses everything to a selfish sister who steals her life. In the end, the main character loses so many things, but she’s able to see her purpose in life and the things that are most important, despite her tragedy. I think I was meant to discover my character and her story along with the discoveries I am making about myself. My character’s story is far from finished, and I look forward to the continued insight it will give me.
Other good things lately. I feel empowered by my weight loss. I took control back into my life. I found comfy clothes I love so I can be happy in my own body. I feel beautiful. My skin is clearer. I have much to be thankful for.
Truly, my purpose is to have joy. To embrace every moment. I am a mother. I see and know the beauty in this world. And the great secret? God made it for me.