Life’s Lessons Learned: Enjoy the Ride

Valerie J. Steimle

With all the craziness of an unexpected divorce, selling my house and moving across country from Alabama to Arizona, I have had some wacky experiences here lately.  From starting a temporary, part time job to moving furniture and cars around.  It’s been totally insane and I hadn’t had a lot of time to write about it. Here is a sampling of some of my “stranger than fiction” experiences.

You never know who your friends are: My new boss left me in charge of the ice cream shop where I just started working  to take a friend home and he let her drive around. I was told they would be back in ten minutes. An hour later, he didn’t show so I just sat outside in the dark watching the cars go by with a few customers stopping in every so often.  Well, the woman friend driving him back to work did not use her turn signal when turning. This attracted a local policeman watching and waiting, who stopped them to investigate. Low and behold this driver had no driver’s license and not only that, she had skipped her court date for her probation so she was arrested right there on the spot and thrown in jail. My boss was a little shaken up thinking he knew this woman pretty well. Whew. You never know.

Never walk to the edge: Husbands can be pretty silly sometimes but I know of one who had left his wife unexpectedly to move in with his mother. (ie. my former husband) He started working with his brother in remodeling and stucco.  Well, walking on a 12-foot high deck to measure for the job wasn’t enough he had to look over the edge. There had been rain and thinking he could just to see what was down there, he slipped on the water and fell off the deck falling 12 feet onto concrete. Smack. After being revived from death by his brother, he was taken to the emergency room with a concussion, broken bones around his left eye, broken left wrist, 8 cracked and broken ribs on left side, and punctured left lung. His recovery will be at least two months and a lot of pain. Don’t ever walk to the edge to look down.  It will get you every time.

Roller Coaster in Takabisha (Largest in the world) Google Images

Sometimes the wait is worth it: I had been listing some great tools, saws, 16 foot open trailer, old 1989 Ford truck along with other items on Craig’s list to sell before I move.  Two months of many calls and emails asking about the items and several “almost” sales was totally frustrating for me as I wanted to find people who could really use the equipment and make some money on the side. There were even some no shows after I spent my time waiting for them to come.  Until one day a young man of 19 called me to ask about the truck.  He really wanted it and said that he would be there to pick it up on Saturday. After my experience, I was leery and really wondered if he was going to actually make it. The awaited day came and he showed up with his whole family. Cousins, Uncles, Aunts and parents all were supporting him in his truck purchase. It was fantastic! It took an hour for them to pull the truck on the trailer (it needed engine work) but his step-dad was interested in what else I had for sale. So I showed him all those tools, saws and other items and he bought them all.  He was happy and I was happy. The trailer also went that day to a neighbor.  The wait is certainly worth the pay off. Now all I have to do is find a buyer for my house.

Life definitely takes you where no man has gone before and sometimes you find yourself in unexpected places. Just go with it and enjoy the ride. 

Olympic Medals

It's Olympic Season. The time of year when we drop everything, and possibly let our kids stay up late, to watch amazing athletes give it their all in the hopes of winning a medal and being adored by the world for their physical prowess, perserverance, and strength. 

It is exciting and awe inspiring. 

So, why do all the silver medalists look so grumpy when they the event is over and they discover they've medaled, but not gold? Whereas, the bronze medalists are cheerful. They are on the podium! They get a medal! If you've given it your all, why should you be grumpy? 

When did coming in second in the Olympics become a disappointment? It's still much more than billions of people throughout the world will ever acheive. What does that say about our society/culture? What does that teach our children? 

My favorite example of an ecstatic Silver Medalist is Noelle Pikus Pace who won silver in the Winter Olympics 2014. She'd been through several setbacks before getting her medal. And I have no doubt, she could've cared less that it wasn't gold. It was all about achieving a goal, not gold. 

Watch her jump in the stands here:

That's the kind of example I'd like my kids to follow. There's another reason why I'm such a fan of her story. The famous Red Dress. You can read the article here:

Red Dress Modesty

She stayed true to herself and her beliefs even in the midst of Olympic pandemonium and stood out as a star. That's what I want my daughter to learn. Being you is the all you ever need to be. For YOU are BeYOUtiful in every way. 

I hope you've enjoyed cheering on many athletes. Take a moment to reflect on all the ones whose names didn't come blaring out at you over the T.V., radio, media, etc. They worked hard and have every right to be just as proud as the household names of athletes we've learned. Here's to the unsung athletes and heroes on and off the podium!

What was your favorite Olympic moment this summer? Or ever?

Goodbye, Horsegirl

Raffiki and Sierra (aka Horsegirl) in 2014, before she left on her mission

Next week, Horsegirl is leaving for college.

Horsegirl is my oldest daughter Sierra. She is 20 and just recently  returned from an LDS church mission. When she goes to college, she will board her 12 year old palomino quarter horse, Raffiki, fifteen minutes away from her apartment.

I haven’t called her Horsegirl in a long time, probably not since she was eight or so. And today, I am thinking of her and her horse craziness from long ago, and how much I’m gonna miss her.

That’s because I am staring at the beaming, happy faces of two eight year old girls who are enrolled in a horse camp that Sierra’s younger sister is putting on as a service trip fundraiser. They are best buddies, these girls, both horse crazy as they come. One of them says, “I have been wanting to ride on a horse by myself since I was four.”

I can believe that hyperbole, because I have seen that same devotion in Sierra who loved horses since she was old enough to read and collect chapter books. Her closet is a testament to her obsession. She owns an impressive amount of Breyer horse models and horse books – bought, bartered, gifted – collected over the years.

This craziness  probably would have peaked and dissipated had we not moved to Grantsville, a small town where icy patches form on irrigated alfalfa fields on cool spring mornings, where horses graze on property at the outer edges of town and where horse-crazy girls can still live their dreams.

= = =

Sierra wanted a horse riding party for her eighth birthday. We had just moved to Grantsville and didn’t know anyone who could oblige. Somehow, through someone who knew someone, I tracked down a lady fittingly named Susan Bale.

Like a parent looking for a rare toy around Christmas, I was desperate, ready to pay anything for this experience. She normally didn’t do this, she said, and rattled off a generously low amount, twenty-five dollars. I told her she had a deal. Giddily, I took Sierra and seven of her girlfriends to Susan’s property west of town. Susan lived on a sprawling place with several pens and a huge barn where she led Sierra and her friends past cats and old machinery to get the horses ready.

Susan turned to me, a complete novice at horses – well, I rode one once as a child, led around for fifteen minutes – and asked if I could help her. A relative who was supposed to come couldn’t.

So there I was helping get four horses get tacked up by girls who equally didn’t know what they were doing.  Susan, unfazed, explained what we needed to do, and somehow, none of the chattering, hyper girls got hurt. The girls rode two by two on each horse and it all came together without a hitch.

And then, Susan said the words that would forever change our lives, and is the reason I am now staring at the faces of the eight year olds on six acres of horse property – “Would you like to borrow a horse for 4-H?”

= = =

We thought Sierra's obsession would go the way of most obsessions of girls that age. Especially since borrowing a horse for a year wasn’t convenient nor easy. At shows, Sierra occasionally missed gate calls since Susan’s granddaughter needed the horse for another event. It took me a long highway ride  to take  Sierra down to practice on Susan’s property. But none of these fazed Sierra. She braided her hair and wore her jaunty thrift store cowgirl hat and jeans, took her place among kids most of whom wore fancy show clothes, and rode on.

It’s been quite a trail ride since.

Without the hubby who was out of town, I took her to look at the first horse we ended up buying. Wixie was a high-strung mare who was a handful for a novice, but somehow, we survived that first year. The next year, Sierra wrote an essay and won a two year old palomino colt. Which was super cool, except no one warned us how much work training a colt would be. A point driven home when this colt, Raffiki, bucked her off on the street, the impact of which broke her arm and tore her nerves.

But there were also lots of good memories.

Of Sierra getting back on Raffiki after a heart wrenching and painful recovery. Of Sierra winning more than a white ribbon in 4-H on temperamental Wixie and even winning blue, bareback on Raffiki. Of me accompanying Sierra in Kentucky for her 14th birthday  to attend Breyerfest. Of practices at the place where we boarded our growing herd of horses, with me watching horse and rider, thinking, they are beautiful.

= = =

Wixie died the year we finally took the leap and bought these six acres of horse property, where we are now hosting a horse camp. Sadly, we were still building then and she didn’t make it to our new place except on a Bobcat, so we could bury her in a grave in the back. We have buried two other horses since, imperfect horses who taxed our patience yet stole our hearts in the end.

That’s what horses do, if you let them.

I once believed, when Sierra was older, that she had gotten over her love of horses. She never once mentioned Raffiki in her letters home on her mission. But when she came home, she announced she would take Raffiki with her to college.

I’m glad. Sierra without a horse is like having a saddle without stirrups, incomplete. Horses formed Sierra’s character. I believe she is who she is today because she had to have the grit, courage,  mental toughness, and resilience  to work with horses over the years. Her heart expanded, learning  love from these gentle giants.

My own heart feels like an old, beat up lead rope – sad and frayed that Horsegirl is leaving. Luckily, she’s just a phone call away, a two-hour drive to a home-cooked meal, if she so chooses. But it’s not the same as having her home. I just realized, however, looking at these campers and their beaming faces, that Horsegirl’s legacy lives on.

I will feel her presence when I feed the horses these upcoming autumn evenings and smell that sharp sweet scent of hay. I will remember watching her ride for hours on end when her younger sister takes to the arena with her own young horse. I will understand when our campers grin from ear to ear as they ride.

I’m grateful that in college, Horsegirl will have Raffiki to keep her company after a hard day. She could burrow for comfort in the smoothness of his supple neck. And, in a valley surrounded by mountains, tinged a lovely blue in the deepening twilight, she could ride her cares away.

Jewel Allen is an award-winning journalist, author and ghostwriter. Visit her at www.jewelallen.com.

True Greatness

by Lisa Rector

“Giving consistent effort in the little things in day-to-day life leads to true greatness.”

 

President Howard W. Hunter taught that true greatness comes not from worldly success but from “thousands of little deeds… of service and sacrifice that constitute the giving, or losing, of one’s life for others and for the Lord.”

As mothers, we often feel as though we have lost our identity. As a mother, and even as a writer, I feel as if I am floundering in my life’s purpose. The other day, I had a thought, “What am I contributing to society? If I were to die today, what great deeds would loved ones mention at my funeral? As a stay-at-home mother, am I contributing enough to the family, especially on days when my health is flagging and I feel as if I do more lounging than productive deeds? Am I pulling my weight when my husband is out there, for many hours each week, putting food on the table?”

Does anyone else think these things? I bet you do! Often we feel as if we’ve dropped the ball or let ourselves down. We guilt ourselves to no end. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I’m here to share President Howard W. Hunter’s words about true greatness, because as I’ve realized over the years, and often tend to forget, the true greatness I’ve admired in others is not the world’s standard of greatness. The people I admire are often humble and meek individuals who quietly serve with no selfish thought or motivations. They are the people I try to emulate.

This is what the Spirit whispered to me during a Sunday School (Relief Society) lesson.

True Greatness is accomplishing great things or small things, while honoring who you really are, while emulating the Lord’s character, by giving consistent effort in the little thing over a long period of time. It’s being selfless. 

In 1905, President Joseph F. Smith made this most profound statement about true greatness. “Those things which we call extraordinary, remarkable, or unusual may make history, but they do not make real life. After all, to do well those things which God ordained to be the common lot of all mankind, is the truest greatness. To be a successful father or a successful mother is greater than to be a successful general or a successful statesman.”

Giving consistent effort in the little things in day-to-day life leads to true greatness. Specifically, it is the thousands of little deeds and tasks of service and sacrifice that constitute the giving, or losing, of one’s life for others and for the Lord. They include gaining a knowledge of our Father in Heaven and the gospel. They also include bringing others into the faith and fellowship of his kingdom. These things do not usually receive the attention or the adulation of the world.

The achievement of true greatness is a long-term process. It may involve occasional setbacks. The end result may not always be clearly visible, but it seems that it always requires regular, consistent, small, and sometimes ordinary and mundane steps over a long period of time. We should remember that it was the Lord who said, “Out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”

True greatness is never a result of a chance occurrence or a one-time effort or achievement. Greatness requires the development of character. It requires a multitude of correct decisions in the everyday choices between good and evil that Elder Boyd K. Packer spoke about when he said, “Over the years these little choices will be bundled together and show clearly what we value.” Those choices will also show clearly [who] we are.

If you endure to the end, and if you are valiant in the testimony of Jesus, you will achieve true greatness and will one day live in the presence of our Father in Heaven.

How can I practice true greatness? Here’s my personal list.

·       Study the scriptures, and other revelations, and implement the teachings in my life.

·       Rely on the Lord.

·       Be mindful of the Lord’s hand in my life.

·       Stop my personal rebellion. Be obedient in all things.

Where should you start?

Look at your potential. Seek the Spirit.

What are the specific little things that would be good to give more attention to?

Write down one step that you can be consistent with to achieve your true greatness.

Remember, it takes constant vigilance! But we, as daughters, have the divine potential to be truly great.



Thoughts and quotes taken from this talk.

Move Forward

I can’t believe I missed my day to post. Life’s like that sometimes. We get busy and some things slip by us. It might be important or not so much. Never a good feeling.

As imperfect beings, no matter how we strive, we seem to fall more often than we would like. It’s easy to get discouraged and give up in life as well as in writing.

There are tons of stories about how many times this author or that sent out a popular books that were rejected: Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell was rejected 38 times. Lord of the Flies by William Golding was rejected 20 times. Beatrix Potter had to publish The Tale of Peter Rabbit herself. The list goes on endlessly.

 

 It isn’t just in writing. Life is filled with reasons to keep working at doing things better. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”  Thomas A. Edison

If I started over, I would be a much better mother than I was. I would have followed my heart and worked on my writing years ago. The list goes on and on.

We need to stop beating ourselves up and quit worrying about what we should have done better. We can start today, and do better than yesterday. Check our calendars more, plan ahead better, and do the best we can. 

Spaghetti Miracle Trek

I had the opportunity to serve during Trek this summer. 

For those of you unfamiliar with Trek, it is when teenagers 14-18 years old dress up like pioneers and pull handcarts full of their stuff for 3 days. They sleep outdoors without tents and eat pioneer food. 

I fed the support staff at base camp. So, I lived the luxury life for those 3 days, sleeping in a tent with a blow up mattress and taking a warm shower everyday. The kids didn't get any showers at all. 

Their food was simple fare: apples, water, beef stew, roast pig, etc. The support staff better, i.e.the same food they'd eat at home. 

One girl, I'll call her Jane, attended Trek. Her additional challenge: she is vegan. On day one, the kids pulled hand carts for 10-11 miles through the woods. She skipped breakfast (a big no-no) and at dinner time had only eaten an apple and a twizzler. She'd drank very little water. (Many girls chose to drink as little water as possible to forego peeing in the woods. Mistake) Beef stew dinner was served at 9pm to the tired, dirty, hungry kids. 

Whatever the circumstances, Jane's special vegan food wasn't with her on Trek. She had nothing to eat. Leaders tended to her. She cried to her brother, that all she wanted was to go home and eat a large bowl of spaghetti. That's when the call came in to base camp to find Jane something to eat. 

The Lord had foreseen Jane's need. I'd served a veggie platter at lunch time to the staff. Jane got a plate of veggies. And I still had leftover spaghetti with vegan tomato sauce (a staff member had a dairy allergy I had to avoid so it was meat and dairy free). 

Right after Jane expressed her wish for a large bowl of spaghetti, two leaders arrived with the veggies and spaghetti. She ate with gusto. And a leader, who'd sat with her the whole time, pointed out that the Lord answered her prayer and wanted Jane to stay and finish Trek. She did. 

Some would call it coincidence. I disagree. 

See, I'd made the menu for Trek in May. It took place 2 months later in July. It's amazing to me, how the Lord knows each of us individually and can prepare to meet our needs through another even without them knowing it. Besides having left over spaghetti, I also had left over rice. I debated which to send to Jane not knowing which one would appeal to her more and felt impressed to send the spaghetti. 

I was grateful to be a part of the Lord's answer to a young woman's prayer. And for the reminder, in my own life, how well he knows and loves each one of us. 

What miracles, large or small, have you seen in your life? 

Happy Fourth of July!!!

The Fourth of July has always been a fun holiday for me. It's summer, there's fireworks, yummy food, and spending time with family.

When I was young, our ward would go up the mountains and camp overnight, with a patriotic fireside by, well, the fire. It was so much fun. After a few years of this, they no longer had campouts, but we'd still go up to the church that morning for breakfast and a flag ceremony. I loved it.

Along with that, we'd have a huge pool party that our city pool hosted where there were races to win little coupons for around our tiny town, along with them throwing several dollars in coins into the pool. 

That night we'd either do fireworks at our house or we'd drive to the local college to watch fireworks and have picnic.

Did I mention how much I loved growing up where I did?

Anyway, flash forward several years and a trip to Australia. I loved it there. With all the bad things that happened, I still loved it there. But it wasn't home. It wasn't America. Their laws for repairing things, and their medical practices and so on, were not HOME. I wanted to go back where I could have my American flag.

We spent the 4th of July there, and to celebrate, we went to TGI Fridays to get the most American meal we could find. Our waiter was from America and I wanted to hug him. There were no fireworks (They're not allowed for citizens, by the way), but at least we got our steak, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob.

We were home by the 21st of July after getting sick from yet another house. I wanted to cry when I saw our flag again for the first time. As we drove back from LA to St. George (soooo much cheaper than flying those last few hundred miles—even in two cars so we could fit our stuff!), I was thrilled to watch the landscape—MY American landscape—go by. And summer was finally back in the actual summertime. We'd left the winter back behind in Melbourne.

A few days later we went to a show at the Desert Star with some friends. I LOVE that place. The skits are hilarious, and it's just a fun atmosphere. At the end, they normally have a medley of songs that they goof up and it's hilarious. This time, it happened to be patriotic songs.

While people around me laughed, I sat there with tears rolling down my cheeks. I was home. And these songs depicted why America is so great. And while the lady sang God Bless the USA in Sarah Palin's voice, I bawled. This is MY country and I'm proud to call it mine.

Our country is going through a lot right now and the majority isn't great. We're set for a historical presidential election and I'm not looking forward to the outcome. But America is still mine. It's still ours.  And I hope we can always remember that.

God Bless America. And Happy Fourth of July!!