Mental Health Day

"My tummy hurts."

These are the three words I dread as a mom.  Choose any other part of the body to hurt as a child, and it can probably be repaired with a kiss and a bandaid.  

Maybe a couple of tylenols.  

But the stomach?  Tummy means trouble.

Like dominoes we went down one by one.  My school age child brought it home and my husband held out as long as he could, but eventually we all succumbed.  Normally being a mom and being sick isn't exactly harmonious.  Can we really ever have a sick day?  Sick means I can’t really indulge in my own well being, I still have to take care of everybody else.  It is the very definition of being a mother- no sick days.  However, this time it was bad.  Broke my washing machine doing laundry, bad.  I had to call in the calvary (ie my own mother) for support.

When she agreed to come, I wasn’t really full on sick yet.  I entertained the brief thought of perhaps being able to take advantage of the opportunity of having my mother here.  I dreamt of getting whole chapters of my newest WIP revised in between bouts of sickness.  

I think that is in the mother’s DNA.  Even when we are at our worst, we can think of something that needs to be done.  The reality of the situation was much less pleasant, in which I spent most of my time sleeping with my head next to the bathroom toilet, or trying to sip a disgusting concoction called happy belly.

It took a few days before my belly could be anywhere near happy again.

When I was conscious and not concentrated on immediate physical needs, I would stare at the ceiling for long spaces of time.  My brain hurt too much to try and concentrate on revisions, but it didn’t keep the voices out.  I began to hear long streams of character dialog.  I had a delirious breakthrough in my plot line.  

Then I fell asleep.

When I woke again the ideas were still there, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, I jotted them in my notebook.  It was right around this time that I thought I should call out sick more often.  Being quarantined seems to spark creativity in me.  With the lack of distractions and pressures on my time, I could really hear my characters.  Obviously I knew this on a somewhat subconscious level, since my best writing comes when all my children are far, far away from me.  

“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.” Paul Tillich

It’s a fine line isn’t it?  I long for the day when my children will all be in school.  Fantasize about the long stretches of time I’ll have to write.  I feel I need a little bit more of the glorious side of solitude in my life.

For now I’ll settle for a sick day once in a while.

-Laura

Time Management: The Essence of Writing with Children

When a writer catches that bug, time becomes very important. It’s not a virus or any physical illness; it’s the bug to write.  Every spare moment is important so time management becomes a bid deal.

Raising nine children and homeschooling as well, does create time deficiencies so as I plan my week with schooling time and calendaring the rest of my duties, there is little time to write.  Television takes a back seat.  I have no idea what the latest TV shows are (unless someone tells me) because I don’t watch it. My day is broken into increments of time when I can get a good chunk of writing done otherwise I can’t concentrate on what else I have to do.

You don’t have to become an organizational guru to manage your time well, just be aware of your day and what needs to be accomplished. Flexibility is also important so losing out on fun times won’t be missed.   Remember these four tips:

1. Make a Goal: If you really want to finish that novel by the end of the year, writing down this goal somewhere you can see it every day is very helpful.  Place it on your bathroom mirror, car dashboard or refrigerator. This will remind you that this goal is important and making time to reach your deadline will become a reality.

2. Prioritize: Writing a to-do list every day is very helpful.  I cannot function without one because I forget what I need to do sometimes.  Think of what is the most necessary for the day and then go from there. Hopefully at the end of the day, there will be time for writing.

3. Don’t Take on Too Much: For some, this is a difficult thing.  We all have our duties to fill every day and even church callings, volunteer work and other extra stuff that is a part of our life but there are times when you have to make a decision and understand what is more important.  If you gave yourself little time in your deadline for your life style, then you might have to re-evaluate and decide on a new dead line.  It’s all in what you want to accomplish.

4. Manage distractions: There are times when important responsibilities arise during the day’s activities that you cannot wait until later. Children do take a lot of time and they were my priority many times instead of writing.  That’s why it took 10 years to write my first book.  But if there are other activities going on around you which are not as important and you want to concentrate on writing, then there has to be a way to manage the distractions.  A corner or quiet room somewhere in the house with a comfortable chair are great places to take a laptop. 

We have all been given a certain amount of time to live here on earth. What we do with that time is totally up to us.  As Benjamin Franklin has said: “Lost time is never found again”.  I hope you all will learn to manage your time well. Enjoy your week.