Romantic Tension vs.
Sexual Tension (yes, there is a difference)
Hi, my name is Misty
Dawn Pulsipher, and I am a clean romance author.
For some reason I feel
the need to put this out there, wear a hypothetical sign around my neck so
people know up front what they’re getting. I have always felt with my writing
that it’s important for my characters to stick to the standards that have seen
me right throughout my life. So, obviously, no sex before marriage. And even
after the “I do’s,” I don’t want to read gritty details about their marital
ecstasy. Some things are just better left to the imagination, and I don’t need
yet another unrealistic standard to try and live up to.
So, for whatever reason
I can make seem the most realistic in today’s literary world, in my books there
is “no ding-ding without the wedding ring” as Maid Marian’s robust
lady-in-waiting so eloquently put it in Robin Hood, Men in Tights. But
it didn’t occur to me until a few reviews in on my first novel, Pride’s
Prejudice, that I might have been unknowingly leading readers astray. Here is
one snippet (okay, it’s a diatribe, let’s call it what it is!) that opened my
eyes:
“To think that with all the sexual tension throughout the book, suddenly
virginity becomes and issue made me check the back in two seconds flat to see
if the author was a religious fanatic. Sure enough, that's exactly it. Here's
the complaint because it's NOT THAT SHE'S A VIRGIN, it's that the author didn't
carry that thread throughout the story. She threw it in as a preachy piece. It
felt weird and changed the whole story to absolutely unbelievable. People this
age have sex and people in this book are having sex. Are we thinking the other
characters aren't doing it. Oh please, that part made this book maddening and I
didn't like the unbelievability in it. If you want to write a christian P&P
book, then carry that the throughout the book. Take the time and energy to
introduce a reader to that idea early on so it doesn't feel like a preachy slap
in the face.”
At first I
could laugh about that review, pity the reader for having a pornography
addiction and not realizing it. But as I started penning novel number two, Persuaded,
that review gnawed at me. The words chewed on that sensitive nerve that is
always exposed to criticism from readers. Suddenly it was clear to me that this
disgruntled reader was right in a sense. I had unintentionally built up to a
steamy climax that was never going to happen. I stress the word unintentional.
It wasn’t until I was
watching one of my favorite Netflix shows and a simple kiss on the cheek got me
all excited that I realized I’d been marketing the wrong thing. In this
particular show, the focus had been on the relationship development (a work
partnership) of these two characters. Once in a while there was a look from one
or a line from the other, a little hint that each of them might feel something
more than friendship for the other. Then the kiss on the cheek happened and I
was like “Yes! They ARE going in that direction . . . I KNEW IT!” I think I
almost fell off the couch, and I watched that little cheek brush over and over.
My poor streaming device was so befuddled that Netflix finally shut down
without my permission, and I was forced to finally call it a night.
But I didn’t fall asleep
for quite some time, because the same question was circling relentlessly in my
psyche: how could something as simple as a peck on the cheek get me so worked
up?
That’s when I realized
that the buildup was for the romance, plain and simple: the epiphany of both
characters, the first kiss, the declaration. That little smooch had me going
for several more episodes, perched on the edge of my seat waiting for just a
little more. They didn’t full-on kiss until the end of the season, and long
after they had ‘done the deed’ that little peck on the cheek was still my
favorite moment for those characters.
Right then and there I
decided to change my focus. Perhaps none of you struggle with this, but maybe
some of you, like me, never realized that there are different kinds of tension.
It is a good idea going into a novel to have a clear idea of which kind you
want to market. Then the judgment calls that might stump you all along the way
aren’t really an issue because the decision’s already been made. You’ll take
more pride in your work, and readers won’t be so misled and disappointed.
I have to mention that
without my good friend and author Melissa Lemon, this lesson might still be
dancing around the edges of my consciousness. She taught me that Harlequin has
nothing to do with true romance. Check out her books!
http://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Lemon/e/B005BZG5BW/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1414011813&sr=1-1
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