A Lesson Well Learned in Life....

Yes--it's Saturday and I missed my turn.  I have been so overwhelmed with a new full time job that I completely missed my day to post... but I thought I would make it up here.

On top of that I have a confession to make.. 

This new job was just a temporary thing.. Something for me and my family to get caught up in our budget.  There were 30 of us starting and when I went to orientation there was a woman there about 10 years younger than me who would not stop talking.  My thought was to just stay away from her but I ended up being her partner.

Fine, I thought. Maybe I can be a positive influence on this women but after three weeks of 40 to 50 hours a week of being her partner in our job, I couldn't take it anymore.  To make a long story short... this job of tagging plants in an outdoor warehouse was wearing on me and I just snapped.  Between smoking in our area (she knew I got sick from cigarette smoke but just went on smoking anyway thinking if she blew in the opposite direction it would be okay), the constant repeating of negative comments including calling her son names in front of him, assuming the worst from the people around us also tagging plants and out bursts about other workers and more it was all too much. It started with yet another outburst of "unfair" taking of carts from the lineup of many carts of plants and her running off to tell the management how terrible these two women next to us were.... it was too much for me to bear.

I could not keep my mouth shut anymore and stood up for those two women but by doing this I ruined the friendship with this women and my work partner so now I have another partner. 

Over the three weeks of being partners when she would jump on others or accuse others wrongly I tried to stick up for them then but she never listened to me.  She never did listen when I tried to talk just in every day conversations.  She was too busy talking.

I could just let it go and apologize to make it all better which I tried.  But it was too late and there was so much I said to try to get her to understand why I did what I did...that I lost her trust. 

A lesson learned for me...... Maybe she will understand all of this later on in life.  Maybe she will wake up one day to understand what I was trying to tell her. But for now, I found a really great bit of advice that I should have read before all of this started from Granny Jean...a "Dear Abby" of sorts for parents:

Dear Parents,

You want to raise awesome kids with solid characters, you need to tell them how much you love them. By using the method below you can shape your child’s character and become the positive influence you want to be.

How? 

Your loving opinion is sweeter than honey to your child. If you tell your child what you specifi cally love, you will give your child what he or she needs from you: 

Attention

Appreciation

Affection

On the other hand, if you criticize your kids often, they may give up and rebel in anger.  This would cause both of you pain. You can avoid pain with these affirmations.

Of course, it’s important to be truthful. That’s why every

 affirmation ends with the word “because.”  After the word “because” you get to tell them a specific time you noticed them acting well. 

Being specific with an affirmation is a powerful motivator for them to continue building their characters.

THREE DOs when using these affirmations:

1. Use them as lunchbox love notes. Just print and cut as many blank cards as you’d like. Then fill in a suggested affirmation and complete the “because” part.

2. Use them as the compliment that begins your Family Meeting from my Family Meeting Diary. Post the compliment on the refrigerator until the next meeting.

3. Use them as encouragement when your child feels down. Put the affirmations in a basket in a special place in your home. Pick out an affirmation and share it with your child. Discussing it further with your child will help too.

THREE DON’Ts when using the affirmations:

1. Don’t add a negative statement. It will delete the affirmation.

2. Don’t lecture your child.

3. Don’t use the word, “but” as in “But you need to do this even more.”Enjoy using the affirmations. Make them a habit. You’ll show love to your child and you’ll build character too.

All my best,

Granny Jean